BOSTON — Recent Northeastern University alumni James Gillen is aggressively spreading awareness of the atrocities committed by Christopher Columbus to his friends, confirmed sources who…
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho — Local man and recent entrepreneur Shawn Roberts revealed a pillow he invented while stoned off his ass early yesterday morning which…
NEW YORK — NYU student Joanna Ruiz was reportedly charged an additional $34 while talking with customer service to refute a $30 charge to her…
As the apocalypse raged on, I’d begun running out of ways to entertain myself when I had the worst great idea of my life. I…
Declawing an animal is a barbaric and sadistic practice and mainstream society is finally starting to take notice. Some states, including Jersey, have even gone…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local 32-year-old Brendan Muller decided today that he will stand perfectly still whenever he is in the presence of others in hopes…
BEDMINSTER, N.J. — President Trump has appointed the once-popular 90s alt-rock band Spin Doctors to lead the country’s coronavirus task force, during an impromptu press…
WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg is determined to continue fulfilling her judicial duties despite her untimely death earlier today, according to sources…
NEW YORK — Ofc. Peter McKenzie of the NYPD underwent a controversial and dangerous surgery last week to alleviate stress on his abdomen during his…
Breaking news in anarcho-grammar, specifically the all too common saying, “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo cops are all bastards.” Top Antifa grammarians recently…
NEW YORK — Local two-timer Thomas McGibbons is looking forward to the end of quarantine after being stuck with his second and more annoying family…
Apparently the higher-ups at The Hard Times want to get in on the foodie craze and for some reason they thought now would be a…
A fifty-two percent tax. I can’t get that figure out of my head. Fifty-two percent. That’s almost half my income. You see, I still believe…