February 12, 2021
BETHESDA, Md. — “Duplicitous catfisher” and clearly regular homo sapien Colleen Jansen disappointed prospective love match Dominic Sabatino yesterday after…
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January 26, 2021
So you just serendipitously ran into Jon Hamm at a bar and wouldn’t leave him alone until you made him…
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January 26, 2021
HELL — The Devil, legal name Satan, continued the long, bitter litigation with Victory Records founder Tony Brummel today to…
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January 13, 2021
DENVER — Julian Rodriguez, guitarist of Black Sabbath tribute act Supernauts, fought back tears this morning as he purchased a…
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January 9, 2021
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Smith & Smith Real Estate property photographer Joshua Abernathy regularly receives workplace criticism for his unhelpful…
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January 2, 2021
FREDERICK, Md. — Longtime punk band Booger Eater realized yesterday that it’s been over 10 months since they occupied a…
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December 30, 2020
A global pandemic. Equality uprisings. The removal of Cyberpunk 2077 from the PlayStation store. This is a time of great…
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December 29, 2020
NEW YORK — Progressive post-hardcore band Ganymede’s Gates reportedly realized moments ago that the entirety of their fanbase are “uncool…
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December 27, 2020
Through the aisles of Sam Ash, something grotesque caught my eye. An affront to every moral ever held dear. I…
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December 26, 2020
MIAMI — Craft beer obsessive Aaron York was thoroughly confused yesterday by his girlfriend’s request to fill out a personality…
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