LAS VEGAS – Former football star and accused double-murderer OJ Simpson took one last instinctual swipe at a blonde nurse standing nearby just before taking…
MILFORD, Del. — Local punk band The Vengeful Squirts were visibly more upset over the cost to park their van at Kindred Memorial Hospital than…
GARDEN CITY, Kan. — Local singer of punk band Salmonella Handjob surprised a crowd recently by holding their replacement drummer up by the scruff of…
OTTAWA — Local office employee Keith Nolan reported that he finally achieved the ultimate work-life balance by deciding to drink at work, according to witnesses…
Dearest Katie, It pains me to have to write you this since we’ve spent so much time together over the past few months, but alas,…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local sexual deviant Glen O’Roarke wished the performers at the Cabaret Tease Burlesque Show would hurry up and get naked already because…
The 90s were a simpler time. No smartphones. No social media. And the best way to hear updates on the Oasis-Blur rivalry was from Carson…
I’m usually a pretty laid-back guy and take things as they come, but it’s tough putting trust in my new Otolaryngologist. While I was doing…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A new episode of the hit HGTV series “House Hunters” is being applauded for its realism after a millennial couple on the…
MIAMI — A local couple working from home was reported that they were left with no choice but to start sleeping with one another, according…
AUBURN, N.Y. – Local dad and notorious shit disturber Walter Morris patiently waited for a lull during his family’s lovely Christmas dinner to launch into…
MILWAUKEE – Identical punk twins Ryan and Bryan Ohland recently revealed their ability to sense when the other is jonesing for a cigarette, sources who…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — The annual holiday gift exchange at Clarkson Valley Police Department consisted entirely of Punisher items for the fifth year in a…
If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that life is precious and we need to protect our mental health at all costs.…
LAS VEGAS — Tourists recently visiting the Sphere attraction in Las Vegas expressed their displeasure with being tricked into listening to U2, according to sources…