When 10-year-old Jackson Tolbert’s teacher told her students to write an essay about their “hero,” she expected most of them would choose athletes, action heroes,…
I understand why you did it. I’ve never been an easy person to buy gifts for. So why go to all the trouble of figuring…
We all love our little two-legged bass playing buddies, but even the best of bassists can be a real handful sometimes! As the old saying…
There are so many things to hate about this entitled millennial generation, but nothing scorches my sky more than their addiction to technology. These ungrateful…
AVIGNON, FRANCE — A team of archeologists announced Monday the discovery of an array of prehistoric cave paintings in southern France, which they claim provide…
As music continues to evolve, the debate over which genres are the work of Lord Satan himself becomes more complicated. Sure there are the on-the-nose…
CHICAGO — Local Tinder bot Jennifer, 29, whose existence centers on driving lonely men to fraudulent dating sites, organically stopped spamming anyone under six feet…
I hated my body for years. No matter how much I worked out or how many compliments I guilted my friends into giving me, I…
FREDERICK, Md. — 48-year-old insurrectionist Mark Fleming is still struggling to understand how nobody noticed that he kidnapped Tiffany Trump during the chaos that took…
Lately, it feels like all my friends and family judge me for dating in quarantine. They take it as a sign that I’m not treating…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Guests attending the wedding of Michaela Hill and Carlos Gibson were forced to admit to themselves that the bride, far from…
As an aspiring pastor, I wish that people were always asking me if I believe Donald Trump is a Godly man. If they did, I…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Local QAnon follower and noted conspiracy theorist Nick Perriman complained to friends today that President Trump is wasting too much time on…
Halloween is just around the corner and for most people that means scary movies, costumes, and trick or treating. Not you though. You’ll be alone,…
FRESNO, Calif. — Beloved local crossing guard Leona Cardwell was fired Wednesday after committing her first error in nearly 20 years on the job when…