KUTZTOWN, Pa. — St. Patrick’s Day reveler and local punk Shane Becker was unconcerned that his green-tinted urine had nothing to do with the 15…
HELP! Please you have to do something, I’m not sure how much time I have left until I turn. As you can see, I’ve clearly…
LAS VEGAS — Enterprising DJ Brian “Blaze” Johnson took multitasking to a new level after utilizing the majority of his downtime on stage to finish…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Hallmark Channel’s newest movie reportedly features a groundbreaking sex scene depicting 20 seconds of dry humping between the romantic leads which…
This country is going to hell. Everyday there’s some new bullshit that threatens our American way of life, like Taylor Swift and books about the…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A bombshell study recently revealed a Conservative think tank spent $40 million trying to find a way to frame Girl Scout cookies…
The foundation of any good marriage is communication, which is why my wife and I text each other multiple times throughout the day. Whether I’m…
“Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue” was arguably one of the most exciting crossover events of many Millennial childhoods, despite it being an unabashed D.A.R.E. promotion.…
Pardon me, sir! Yeah I’m talking to you pal, roll your damn window down. I couldn’t help but notice you puttering along the highway like…
LOS ANGELES — Acclaimed film director Sam Mendes announced that his ambitious portrayal of the Beatles, which will be told through four separate films focusing…
Milking the public domain for profit is nothing new, but Steamboat Willie becoming fair game has everyone tripping over themselves to exploit it for personal…
The concept of the family unit has changed drastically for millennials like me in that I cannot afford to start one of my own, which…
GLASGOW — An outdoor Belle & Sebastian show abruptly ended in tragedy after a sudden light breeze sent several fans flying hundreds of feet into…
For most of my life, I was never in the camp that believed my life was predetermined by an all-powerful celestial deity capable of smiting…
Hey working stiffs, do you feel like there’s something that could make getting scheduled 2nd shifts at the factory more exciting, like working up a…