DUNWOODY, Ga. — Recently dumped dirtbag Jimmy Crocetta is allegedly hoping his ex-girlfriend Christina Jindra will want to still remain friends, send him nudes, and “just see where things go from there, or whatever,” according to sources.
“I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to ‘remain friends,’ but I figured if I said ‘yes,’ I’d be letting him down easy,” said Jindra. “Of course, Jimmy’s using that tiny, little opening to weasel his way back into my life. Lately he’s been calling me at all hours of the night, crying his eyes out and begging for just one pic of my ‘big naturals’ or he’s going to kill himself.”
Jindra’s friend and confidante Maggie Chevonne has supported Jindra through the many tribulations of the difficult relationship.
“After Christina turned down all his requests for nudes, he started sending dick pics… like, a lot of dick pics. She tried to explain that this isn’t something friends do to each other, but he tried to play it off — he actually said, ‘Come on, bro. Me and my friends send each other junk pics all the time,’” said Chevonne. “He sent one last pic that was apparently meant for me after I saw him at a bar a couple weeks ago… but he didn’t have my number and said he was hoping she’d pass it along. What a sack of literal shit.”
Relationship therapist and counselor Dr. Samatha Finkle offered some advice for women in Jindra’s situation.
“Unfortunately, this is something I’ve seen a lot: guys who think remaining friends with your ex means treating her exactly like you did when you dated, but calling her ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ instead of ‘babe.’ Oh, and sleeping with other people,” said Finkle. “In these situations, it’s best to cut ties completely — or drive him to the middle of nowhere and leave him for dead. Hopefully after doing that, he may start to get the hint.”
At press time, Crocetta accepted that Jindra does not wish to get back together, but insisted that if she’s unwilling to see where things go, he’s no longer obligated to pay her back all the money he owes her.