BOSTON — Freshman photography student Elias Carbone reportedly crossed four lanes of heavy traffic to ask you if you’ve ever modeled before and if you’d be interested in helping him with a school project, you confirmed while trying to hide your smile.
“I was just minding my own business when this guy with a camera came out of nowhere to tell me how beautiful I was. And I mean I definitely didn’t look cute, I was coming back from pilates so my hair was a mess, I ran out of contacts so I had to wear my glasses, and I was all sweaty. I’m not sure what he saw in me,” you said after sitting down to compose yourself. “He said ‘Beauty like mine needs to be preserved for the ages,’ can you believe that? I agreed to go to his apartment in Allston this weekend for a shoot. He told me to bring a few different outfits and to be prepared to ‘push my boundaries.’ I’m debating on whether I should tell my friends about this, I think they would probably be pretty jealous that they weren’t asked.”
Carbone admitted he asks multiple women a day if they would like to model for him.
“I want to be the next Terry Richardson or Marcus Hyde, and the best way to do that is to lure as many impressionable young women to my apartment and convince them to pose naked for me. I feel like my best bet is to ask women who look painfully insecure,” said Carbone. “I haven’t been able to convince any of my models to take off their clothes, they usually realize they made a big mistake and leave right away. But these are the tough lessons I need to learn. I want to get to that level of fame where A-list celebrities come to my defense saying how sweet and professional I am when some no-name accuses me of problematic behavior.”
Photography Professor Phillip Rouse says a majority of his male students use art as a way to see women naked.
“This has been going on since the camera was first invented. Young men will use a camera to position themselves as an authority on beauty in order to see a boob or two. I hate to admit it, but I did it myself,” said Professor Rouse. “But now things are different. As an educator, I’m able to exert my authority in a different way and I have students lining up to pose naked for me. I promise them a better grade or introductions to some of my established photographer friends. It’s almost too easy.”
“At press time, Carbone asked if you had any good-looking female friends that you might be comfortable kissing for a project about “taboo expression under the Trump regime.”