LAUREL, Miss. — Drummer Keith Reed for the hard rock group Assistant Coach expressed a desire to contribute creatively to the band’s decisions about where they stop for lunch, sources reported.
“Usually it’s Tongue [McSwayne], our frontman, who decides where we dine,” said Reed, who also drives the van. “But lately, I don’t know. I’ve been on a creative tear about where we could get lunch. Sometimes I wanna just be like, ‘Hey, how do we all feel about Saladworks?’ or, ‘Anyone thinking Whole Foods right now?’ These creative impulses assault me, mostly because I see the restaurants as I drive, and I’m just trying to let them breathe. But when I mention something to Tongue, he just says he’ll consider it and to pull over at the next Arby’s.”
The Assistant Coach lead singer had an eye-roll approach to Reed’s creative outbursts.
“Keith means well,” said McSwayne. “But we’d never be where we are today if we’d listened to his ‘ideas’ every time we stopped for lunch, brunch, or even—let’s face it—an early dinner. His instincts are all wrong. The other day he suggested Jimmy John’s with a stop at Minit Mart for trail mix. I just tell him we’ll have a band meeting about it, but let’s be honest, we’re not gonna meet about it. We all know what happened when Metallica let Lars take them to Another Broken Egg Café. Three months later, out pops ‘St. Anger.’”
Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl offered some advice for Reed.
“Speaking as someone who’s been a drummer and a lead, I think it’s really important he tread lightly. Maybe make one small suggestion per week—and I’m talking conservative, like Cracker Barrel. Or maybe let Tongue ask, first, if anyone has ideas,” said the veteran, who’s in his fourth decade of navigating tour dynamics. “Could Keith be the next Phil Collins, calling out exciting and innovative lunch solutions when the frontman craps out? Sure. But he could also sink the band with his ‘creative input.’ As drummers, we need to keep to ourselves and do what they tell us—especially regarding dining options.”
At press time, McSwayne was in an IHOP parking lot auditioning new drummers to see how well they could shut up and drive the van.