It’s strange how some situations can mirror others almost exactly. For example, a tennis match can look indecipherable from a pickleball match to an outsider. A city council meeting can easily be misconstrued as a school board meeting, and we’d be hard-pressed to tell you the difference between a symphony and an orchestra. It’s a good idea for all of us to prepare ourselves for these situations so we can properly identify what we’ve walked into. As such, let’s take this time to test our knowledge with a little quiz.
Try to identify which of these situations are describing the depths of hell or a Luke Bryan concert in Mansfield, Massachusetts!
1.) Question: You traverse a parking lot filled with Ford F150s bespeckled with Blue Lives Matter and FJB bumper stickers to enter an arena, only to have your ears assaulted with song lyrics that make Jimmy Buffett sound like Elliott Smith.
Answer: If you went with “Luke Bryan Concert in Mansfield, Massachusetts,” good job! This indeed sounds very similar to the Stygian abyss of the dreaded Dark One, so don’t get down on yourself if you answered incorrectly. Try to make up for it with this next question!
2.) Q: The temperature is impossibly high as you witness thousands of tortured souls wail in agony while countless demons rid them of their skin and force-feed them their own eyeballs.
A: That’s right, you’re in the depths of hell! It definitely doesn’t seem pleasant to us, and we’re *almost* tempted to wish we were back at the Luke Bryan concert! On to the next one!
3.) Q: You’re forced into a naked procession of the damned with a pitchfork constantly at your back. At the front of the line is a pit of fire in which the dancing flames will lick your flesh for all of eternity, simply because you did not make it to Confession in time to cleanse your soul before you perished.
A: Yep, it’s hell again! You’re doing great!
4.) Q: You’re surrounded by Miller Lite-swigging men donning cowboy hats (virtually none of whom have ever even sat upon a horse, let alone been employed as a farmhand) cosplaying as Southerners despite the fact that they are hundreds of miles north of the Mason-Dixon line.
A: This was a toughie, but it’s a Luke Bryan concert! We know it sounds like a clever punishment from the devious mind of Lucifer himself, but the trickiest demon is no match for modern-day country music!
5.) Q: You’re in a crowd of white people singing along to the lyrics “Girl you make my speakers go ‘boom boom’, dancing on the tailgate in the full moon, that kind of thing makes a man go ‘mmm mmm.’”
A: Well, you’re at a Luke Bryan concert, but why are you at a Luke Bryan concert? That’s right, you’re in hell!
There you have it! We’re sure you performed fantastically, and if not, at the very least we hope you’re a little more equipped to differentiate between these two situations. God willing, you’ll never need this knowledge, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared!