HAYWARD, Calif. — Local man Nathaniel Poppavich is hell-bent on claiming his “rightful place in history” as the inventor of placing potato chips inside of sandwiches, skeptical sources report.
“It’s like someone else getting credit for your masterpiece,” shared an angered Poppavich, crunching up a bag of barbecue chips before sprinkling the contents on an Italian sub. “I remember the moment clearly. It was 2010: I was so hungover and wanted to house all of this food at once, just slam it into my face-hole. I saw the sandwich, I saw the chips, the rest is history. But did the acknowledgment ever come? Nope. I coulda been a celebrity chef or something. I knew I was destined to be ripped off, just like my dad who invented freestyle rap in the ‘80s, or my grandpa who invented sangria. What a sad world.”
A-1 Deli owner Bozo Anastopoulos wishes Nathaniel would back away from the claim.
“He is a nuisance, the chip man,” claimed Anastopoulos while eyeing teenagers in the back aisle of his deli. “He comes in here, he leans on the counter all day, he crunches the chips and puts them in his sandwich, he makes a mess–also, he brings in the sandwich from Togo’s, not ordering here! So rude, so disrespectful. He autographs printer-paper headshots as ‘Chips in Sandwich Guy,’ smearing the handouts with greasy oil fingers. He can tell those lies, but not inside here. A-1 Deli is a temple of honesty, which is why yesterday’s egg salad is half off.”
However, historian Laurel P. Judson presents sources that challenge Nathaniel’s claim.
“The origins of the ‘crisp sandwich’ can be traced back to an article from the early 1950s,” countered Judson from her office in the Memphis Sandwich Institute. “There are actually stories of Prague circus strongmen stuffing fried potato rinds between bread-crusts as sustenance during famine. In fact, Jimmy Carter was particularly fond of the practice, perhaps the most interesting fact about him. I understand Poppavich’s yearning for immortality–who doesn’t want to be remembered beyond this skin husk? Hell, I’ve been trying to publish my edible sandwich book for years now. I’ve tried explaining this, but instead he just crinkles chips over the phone.”
At press time, Poppavich is claiming to have invented the concept of ‘Hot Ones’ when daring his college roommates to try ghost pepper hot sauce.