Immortal has no bad albums and in many ways they are the total package. They’ve been around long enough to have real cred. They’re from the Norwegian Black Metal scene, but they somehow avoided all the messed up shit from that world. Their imagery is cool. Their sound is familiar but unique. Abbath’s “evil Popeye” vocals are iconic. And the vast majority of their songs take place in a fantasy realm called Blashyrkh. What’s not to love? So slap on some leather and corpse paint, and join us on this journey. Or as the band (probably) says, “Hi, we’re Immortal. This is a ranking of our albums by the award-winning satire site, The Hard Times. Very Cool!” Classic Immortal.
10. All Shall Fall (2009)
You know that guy at your job that sucks, and nobody is nice to him, probably because he sucks, but because nobody is nice to him, he sucks more? That’s this album. It’s not great, but there’s plenty to like. And we definitely get the feeling that people think it sucks because other people say it sucks. Because guess what? It doesn’t suck. It’s not anywhere near their best, but after giving a few re-listens, we gotta say there are some real bangers on this. Its biggest flaw is that it followed “Sons of Northern Darkness”. And as anyone who has tried to read anything else after reading a Hard Times article can attest: it’s hard to follow genius.
Play it again: “Hordes to War”
Skip it: “Unearthly Kingdom” feels like a worse version of a much better song we’ve heard on several of their other albums
9. Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism (1992)
Look, there’s always gonna be controversial takes in album rankings. We know most folks were probably assuming a different album would be in this spot, but sorry friends: “Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism” gets the second-fewest re-listens over at HTHQ. It’s cool to see where a band started and the early ’90s trve kvlt black metal production is fun, but it’s just not an album we come back to that much. When you hear songs from this album on their live material it makes it even more clear: this album had a time and a place, but Immortal is best when they are loud and don’t sound like they are being recorded at the end of a very long hallway, over FaceTime.
Play it again: “Unholy Forces of Evil” and “The Call of the Wintermoon”
Skip it: “Intro” and “A Perfect Vision of the Rising Northland”
8. Northern Chaos Gods (2018)
Honestly we can’t believe an album without Abbath works this well. But this album is great. We’re sad our Norwegian Black Metal Parents, Demonaz and Abbath couldn’t work out their differences, but it turns out, staying at dad’s place is pretty rad. Yeah, mom has put out three solid albums on her own, but we always knew she’d be ok. It was dad we were always worried about. I mean he literally hadn’t ever done vocals for Immortal before. Not to mention he hadn’t done anything in the band besides write lyrics since “Blizzard Beasts.” But “Northern Chaos Gods” proves we don’t need to worry about him, because dad is gonna be ok. And just because they’re your parents, doesn’t mean you don’t worry about them.
Play it again: “Into Battle Ride” and “Northern Chaos Gods”
Skip it: there is absolutely no reason for “Mighty Ravendark” to be 9 minutes long
7. Battles of the North (1995)
More like “Battles of Trying to Not Rip Our Skin-Tight Pants While Squatting” am I right?!?!? For real though, the squats are impressive. Low squats, in the snow, is bold move. And they are in either leather or jeans. And as previously mentioned, that shit is tight. This was ’95. The stretchy jean fabric that Old Navy uses now was definitely not around yet. I suppose they are leaning on their guitars. So they have support. But still, all I can think about is their knees. Anyways, pretty good album.
Play it again: “At the Stormy Gates of Mist”
Skip it: “Blashyrkh (Mighty Ravendark)”
6. Blizzard Beasts (1997)
This album sounds like absolute shit. Which probably seems counterintuitive to its ranked number. Especially considering “Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism” is as low as it is due in no small part to the production. But something about this sounds right. I don’t know. It’s Dunkin. It’s garbage. But goddamn, we love it. And those pumpkin donuts? Get the fuck outta here. We’re all in. And the fact that this album clocks in under an half hour doesn’t hurt. It’s loud, fuzzy,
and cold and over quicker than an episode of “Only Murders in the Building.” What’s not to love?
Play it again: “Nebular Ravens Winter” and “Blizzard Beasts”
Skip it: “Mountains of Might” is almost 7 minutes long throws the whole vibe of the album off
5. War Against All (2023)
If “Northern Chaos Gods” is Immortal’s “we think dad we’ll be ok after the divorce” album, “War Against All” is dad thriving in his bachelor pad. This album has no business being as solid as it is. It still takes a few to get used to Demonaz’s vocals, but effing A, the jams are solid on this album. It’s honestly what we want in an Immortal album. Not to mention “Nordlandihr” is a 7 minute instrumental track that… works? So confusing. The only really downside to this album is it makes us wish that Abbath and Demonaz could work it out. Two guitars? Both doing vocals? Tell me that album isn’t on everyone’s top 5 the year it comes out. Tell me. I dare you. You can’t. And you shan’t. And you won’t. So don’t.
Play it again: “No sun” and “Thunders of Darkness”
Skip it: “Wargod”
4. Pure Holocaust (1993)
Imagine being a Norwegian Black Metal band, not being one of the racist ones, and then deciding to name your album: “Pure Holocaust.” Fucking yikes. The title is using the word in its common noun form, which basically means devastation. And “Pure Devastation” absolutely fits for this album. It’s fast and intense and loud. It’s miles better than their debut, which nailed the vibe, but lacked the songwriting, technical skill and production this album excels on. While it’s in their top 5, we’re not as taken by the this as some folks are. But it’s still a killer album in a discography of killer albums. It’s just rough when someone asks what album you’re playing and you gotta explain that “Pure Holocaust” somehow isn’t actually as offensive as it sounds.
Play it again: “Frozen by Icewinds” and “The Sun No Longer Rises”
Skip it: “As Eternity Opens”
3. Damned in Black (2000)
This catches a lot of shit for no good reason. People complain about it being unexceptional, but that’s only because it’s sandwiched by the band’s two best albums. It’s not a super wild take to think that the ’99-’02 era of Immortal is the best era. But way too many people ignore this album. Like any good second part in a trilogy, it is given the most free rein to go bananas. It’s so… metal. Like, METAL metal. No hyphenates. I mean all the hyphenates are there, but there are elements of power metal, and thrash and stuff. Look, you get what we’re saying. Its a great album that gets overlooked but shouldn’t be. Give it a re-listen.
Play it again: “Wrath from Above” and “Damned in Black”
Skip it: no skips
2. At the Heart of Winter (1999)
This album was the sea change for Immortal. When it was released, it was the longest Immortal album and also had the shortest tracklist. It’s also the first album to not feature the band on the cover. It’s also arguably the album where the band began to be taken seriously by the metal community as a whole. This album is the metal equivalent of going on a makeover show and having it actually really work. But not some bullshit makeover where you don’t look anything like yourself. One of those shows where they point out what really works about the style you already have. Because reality is: you’re hot. You just needed a someone else to help see how hot you are. But now that you know, you’re definitely gonna hook up with coworker who always flirts with you.
Play it again: The album works best as a complete piece, butthe opening riff and chord changes of “Solarfall” should be on repeat
Skip it: no skips
1. Sons of Northern Darkness (2002)
Not only is this album the band’s best album, it’s an all-time metal album. Every part of it. The songwriting, the riffs, the lyrics, the cover art. It is a classic in every way. It also encapsulates what is so appealing about Immortal. It’s got the feel, aesthetic and background of black metal, but the lyrics are like weird sort of fantasy lyrics. It’s also thrashy. And you can’t shake the fact that it all feels a little silly. But in a way that the band is in on. They take that corpsepaint shit seriously. But also they kinda seem like they wanna party. That’s a good mix. That’s like getting a Friendly’s grilled cheese AND a Cone Head. And if you don’t like Friendly’s, you can go fuck yourself. Immortal says so.
Play it again: front to back.
Skip it: no skips. How dare you even ask!??