So, I’m telling the other servers I work with about this chick I nailed after my set last night, when they suddenly confront me about my self-involvement! Can you believe they had the balls to talk back to me? Me! A singer in a band! Like, sorry I never listen or ask about whatever lame shit you do. That’s just the price you pay for hanging out with an artist who does cool shit like open for Barnaby and the Riders on a Tuesday night at Dino’s Bar and Grill!
Since it seems like my stories will now be met with responses, I needed to find a medium where no other perspective could be voiced but mine… This article. So to you, my non-artist civilian friends who’ve seen me do my thang on stage and somehow think you deserve a similar word count, why can’t you just sit back and enjoy the show that is my life? After being in the weeds for an entire dinner shift, don’t you just wanna crack a beer and hear all about my vocal range and the few positions I had that chick in last night?!
I just want to help put a little spice in their boring lives. So they can then brag to their friends that they have an insanely cool friend who met Wes Borland in 2006. I guess it’s my way of giving back to the little people. Man, I should honestly have my own reality show.
It’s like they can somehow see that instead of actually listening, I’m wracking my brain for a cool story after hearing a decent keyword. Like yesterday, my buddy who works in marketing or accounting or some business-y shit said he was at a rocky stage in his life. So I burst in with a sick story about how I banged my drummer’s girlfriend when he was in the hospital.
I thought I had this seamless ability to steer every conversation towards my creative process, so this is actually pretty scary. Like, if my work friends could somehow crack my code, can everyone else?! It looks like I’ll have to be a little more subtle. Gross!
Oh my god, I think I’m starting to understand. It’s like they’re the main character in the story of their lives, and to them, what they do is just as interesting as what I do. Can you even believe the ego on these clowns? That is a serious lack of self awareness right there. So to them, and any other civilian reader, maybe turn some of this newfound awareness inwards and realize that if you wanna kick it with rock stars, you’re gonna have to pay the price of silence. Don’t worry, we definitely have a cooler story than you locking down the Johnson account or whatever it is you do.