Jeremy Kaplowitz
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NEW YORK — Local size queen Sasha Carter reportedly purchased a PlayStation 5, the only console large enough to satisfy…
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Literally A Koala
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DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest…
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Rob Steinberg
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HOLLYWOOD — “Animaniacs” star Yakko Warner has refused to acknowledge the existence of Israel in an updated version of the…
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John Danek
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DAYTON, Ohio — Local guitarist Max Gordon’s revealed today that her attempt to sell her old guitar amplifier has already…
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Kaitlyn Jeffers
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I am a devout, lifelong anarchist. I was marching for squatters rights when you were getting cut from your fucking…
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Dan Kozuh
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DETROIT — Aging rocker Perry Dunn, frontman for the seminal hair metal band Töpsy Türvy, left his rented room at…
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Lawrence Scotti
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SAN FRANCISCO — Amidst the growing need for production of more PlayStation 5’s, popular game deals purveyor Wario64 has taken…
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DiMaggio Orozco
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A man with a tattoo depicting an enemy from the influential shoot ‘em up game Space Invaders…
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Owen Crowlie
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I understand if many of you are heartbroken after the results of last week’s election, after America failed to elect…
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Gregg Gethard
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I don’t think any of you know what it’s like to touch the sky. To know what immortality tastes like.…
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