Andy Holt
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PASADENA, Calif. — Local gamer Miles Trench has reportedly touched his fingertip to the surface of his oven for the first…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ALBANY, N.Y. — Local boyfriend Dennis McElris is reportedly down to just two stocks after being knocked off the bed…
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Chuck Kowalski
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TOLEDO, Ohio — A local punk church celebrated the addition of a new stained glass window today, commemorating the ultimate…
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Tyler Simpson
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RICHMOND, Va. — Christian YouTuber LEViticus has posted a controversial video reminding peers that the YouTube algorithm works in mysterious…
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Jimmy Adamson
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Some genres of music span a lifetime and will live on forever. Jazz, Rock ‘N Roll, Grindcore, and Symphonic Death…
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James Knapp
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CLEVELAND — Involuntarily celibate churchgoer Donald Bates resolved today that, in observance of Lent, he will abstain from all sexual…
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TUCSON, Ariz. — A hacker has broken Super Smash Bros. Ultimate open and apparently revealed a host of new details…
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Jon Swihart
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Some people know how to get with the times. Others? Not so much. Andy Serrano is a troglodyte of the…
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Chandler Dean
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FRANKLIN, Texas — After consulting a wiki for every single quest from start to finish, local gamer Francesca Bufalini declared…
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Kevin Flynn
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NEW YORK — Emphasizing the fact that they really ought to start playing some other games that they’ve been meaning…
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