Joe Tilleli
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March 10, 2020
PHOENIX — The Democratic National Committee released new qualification criteria for the upcoming debate on March 15th, requiring that participants…
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Zach Raffio
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March 10, 2020
Homeless people won’t be getting any pocket change from me. I’m not gonna give these people my hard-earned money just…
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Patrick Crooks
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March 10, 2020
NAZARETH, Pa. — Local teen Brian Miller found his father’s old stash of Playboys while snooping through the garage late…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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March 10, 2020
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Justin Curry’s post on Reddit’s r/relationship_advice under the username u/throwawaythekeys92 did absolutely nothing to hide his identity…
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Graham Isador
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March 10, 2020
Last week my landlord informed me they're raising the rent by 600 dollars. Even when you account for my monthly…
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James Knapp
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March 10, 2020
KENT, Conn. — Local shoplifter and psychological mastermind Wendy “Sticky Fingers” Hartley reportedly bought a 35-cent pack of Big Red…
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James Gavigan
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March 10, 2020
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at MIT’s Center for Theoretical Physics were shocked to discover that the universe as we know…
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Seth Finkelstein
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March 9, 2020
It’s Friday, and you know what that means: the boys are coming over for a sleepover! Mom just tidied up…
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Kevin Flynn
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March 9, 2020
GRAPEVINE, Texas — Assuring his fellow board members that his plan would work just as well as it did the…
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Eddy “Rotgut” Lewiston made a panicked phone call to his parents to make sure his…
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