CJ Hernandez
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local sources report that Brian Turner, 26, is still eagerly awaiting his first phone call since changing…
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Nick Ortolani
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They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have.. That may be true, but in the…
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M.J. Amory
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LOS ANGELES — In a press conference outside the building they allegedly work out of, GameFly executives announced that they…
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Patrick Coyne
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Oh Jiminy Christmas, I goofed up. Fellas, this one is on me. Well, maybe it’s not really my fault. Kind…
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Lana Schwartz
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PHILADELPHIA — The biggest fan of local indie rock band Cash Only is reportedly Kevin Estrada, a close friend who…
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Brooks Wilson
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SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. — ENCOM computer science expert Dr. Ezekiel Hill made a grave announcement that a rogue artificial intelligence,…
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Tyler Lebens
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People are getting really into the whole new age thing lately. Everyone’s eating kale and talking to crystals. Naturally, I…
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BOSTON — Tufts University philosophy student Colin Hendricks was amused to learn yesterday that recovering addict and “fucking brainless sheep”…
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Aries (March 21-April 19) Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Aries. Nobody cares that Josh ate your leftover take out. It…
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Steven Kowalski
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Buyers remorse is a drag, especially when it comes to your religion. One day you’re just minding your own business,…
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