SARASOTA, Fla. – Local 71-year-old Steve Mills made multiple strong arguments against the use of QR code menus while trying to order the Sunshine State Super Special at Mitzy’s Diner early yesterday, multiple witnesses confirmed.
“God dammit, I just want to hold a paper menu,” said the typically disagreeable, but this time correct, baby boomer. “If I wanted to take out my phone and take a picture, I’d go to my grandson’s christening, but I’m here instead, so just let me have a physical menu where I can easily see the pricing and sides! Donald Trump should really make this part of his platform. I’m just glad the young people are coming around to see how right I am about things. I think they’d also agree with my stances on movies in theaters having subtitles, dogs being walked without a leash, and abortion.”
A table of nearby Zoomers who overheard the complaints found themselves shocked to be in complete agreement.
“Damn, old dude’s got a point,” remarked recent college graduate and avocado toast enthusiast Kamau Jenkins. “He was saying a bunch of vile, racist shit, but then I heard him talking about QR code menus being ‘an unnecessary barrier to entry for dining’ and my head started nodding along. He’s got a pretty good point. I shouldn’t need to download a fucking PDF in order to get food. Apparently the system that existed for hundreds of years is not good enough. Has technology gotten to the point that it’s hurting us more than helping us? I’m kind of scared. Does this mean I’m going to start voting Republican?”
The entire scene was witnessed by the restaurant manager, who cursed loudly and dashed back into the kitchen.
“They’re finally waking up to my devious machinations,” said the mustache-twirling manager, donning a large top hat. “There’s nothing that makes my blood boil more than easy access to our food offerings and prices. I even switched over to metal QR codes to make it functionally impossible to scan the menu unless someone else uses their phone flashlight on it. You think I want people to eat at my establishment without jumping through hoops? Of course not! Eating should not be simple, it should be a baffling ordeal. And this intergenerational teamup could throw a spanner in my plans.”
At press time, the restaurant ejected the patrons for requesting a clear breakdown of the prices of draft beers.