WASHINGTON — U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Durkin “came out of nowhere” and denied President Trump’s easy lay-up during a shoot-around on the White House…
PYONGYANG, North Korea – North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un vowed to decimate the city of Los Angeles with his distinctive style of bass guitar, in…
NEW YORK — Longtime political activist Lorenzo Marquez attempted to kick off a new protest chant at a march last weekend, but struggled to find…
Not your king, huh? Grow up. Quick question: are you a citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom? And is there a giant black flag with Bowser’s…
QUANTICO, Virginia — Chicago is officially the most dangerous band in America, due to numerous instances of “friendly fire” roadie deaths, drive-by tour bus shootings,…
MAR-A-LAGO – In direct response to fired FBI Director James B. Comey addressing the Senate Intelligence Committee, President Trump said Tuesday that he would be…
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed a new executive order earlier today, banning Foreigner from the United States, White House sources confirmed. Dismissing such hits as…
WASHINGTON –– The GOP-led House of Representatives voted on Thursday 217-213 in favor of terminating 24 million pre-existing humans from Earth. “They had a good…
WASHINGTON — The anarcho-punk band Witness Destruction Program could produce their entire demo for the same amount of money taxpayers would save by First Lady…
I went to an anti-war rally to protest America’s military interventions in Syria and Afghanistan. Everyone there was pretty cool and I had a…
WASHINGTON — Doctors issued a stern warning to former Chief White House Strategist Steve Bannon yesterday, according to leaked medical reports, giving him mere weeks…
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced earlier today his plan to circumvent traditional media outlets with a series of dumpster fireside chats beginning this Spring, hoping…
I’ve been reading a lot on Facebook about the rust belt and all the union coal mining jobs that are leaving as if it’s some…
LOS ANGELES — With Congress expected to gut the Affordable Care Act, local school teacher Sofiya Anderson realized late last night she will soon be…
WASHINGTON — With only hours to go before tonight’s show, organizers confirmed President Donald J. Trump has so far failed to acquire an adequately loud…