Hey, man, you look a little down. Everything ok? Oh yikes, sorry to hear about your mom and that bus. Have you tried spending less…
Congratulations, you’ve managed to sneak into your nemesis’ inner sanctum (or home office). Now all that’s left to do is wait in their extra tall…
LOS ANGELES — The 95th Academy Awards is expected to feature intimidating English actress Mia Goth slightly offstage and ready to scream at any winners…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a recent show by garage punk band, The Dooley’s, were reportedly infuriated that the ‘selfish pricks’ had the audacity to…
AUSTIN, Texas — A metronome at Austin’s Northside Music Academy doesn’t know what more it can do to show the idiot using it, Kyle Tulridge,…
Funny how time works. One day we’re living in the ‘90s wearing high-waisted dad jeans, watching ‘Seinfeld,’ and talking about ‘The Matrix.’ Then all of…
Cops fucking suck. There isn’t anything new with that statement. But at least the douchebaggery that pigs dish out is on a linear plane of…
BERLIN — A group of punks and aspiring assassins traveled eighty years back in time only to fail in their attempt to kill Adolph Hitler…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local coffee aficionado Sage Davis claimed today that he finally perfected his method for brewing the perfect cup of coffee, and all…
Everyone knows about Christopher Walken’s enthralling “Pulp Fiction” monologue. But that’s not the only time this eccentric thespian has played a character with a secret…
NEW YORK — TIME Magazine has shocked the world, announcing today that their 2020 Person of the Year is inexplicably Supergiant Games’ roguelike Hades, beating…
NEW YORK — HBO replaced its popular late night talk-show “Last Week Tonight” with “A Week Tonight” following a deterioration of host John Oliver’s ability…
LOS ANGELES – Indie pop band Sour Bitch Kids learned this morning that the hours they spent practicing their songs with ever decreasing volume were…