BALTIMORE — Local punks are reportedly confused and intrigued by a cryptic show flyer circulating that features an image of Ronald Reagan having sex with…
SAN DIEGO — Daisey McKinley’s period asked her eyes and heart again this morning if they know when her white pants will be going on,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Researchers at the University of Texas released a study today proving that indie-rock band Gypsy Casino’s attempt to create a “quality, experimental…
ATLANTA — Matt Goldberg, 27, has used Twitter, Steam reviews, and several other online platforms to advocate for a new feature in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds: a…
RICHWOOD, W. Va. — Local punk Jesse Hallenbeck asked her family today what time Christmas dinner is supposed to go on at her grandma’s house…
NEW YORK — Time magazine announced the winner of its 2017 Person of the Year award today: Carlos Villalba, a 27-year-old “Rocket League” player who…
These days it seems like we’re all starting to feel a little creaky in the knees. Remember when the kid from the Nevermind cover bought…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local copy editor and Beagles guitarist Maddy Nelson is reportedly growing increasingly anxious by the delayed arrival of her period, which she…
CHICAGO — Swamp Smut drummer Logan Stone discovered a text message following his set on Thursday night, reading, “What time r u playing?”, sent from…
DENVER — Self-described “stoner-tech” metal band Great Barrier Reef revealed today their plans to write a song in a 4/20 time signature, which would be…
KALAMAZOO, MI – Local musician Danny Ramsey was visited by a futuristic, cyborg version of himself this week, who reportedly made a trip backwards through…
LEXINGTON, KY — According to sources close to the event, last night’s show at The Shit Palace wrapped up at 5:00 p.m. today. The show, featuring touring…
