supply Archives - HARDTIMES

GWAR Forced to Reduce Fake Cum Usage After Tariffs Cut Supply to 5 Barrels a Day

Rob Ryder • December 15, 2024

RICHMOND — Legendary metal group GWAR reportedly cut their usage of onstage fake cum to approximately five barrels a day…

Lone Box of Floss Also Lifetime Supply of Floss

Krissy Howard • February 22, 2019

SALOME, Ariz. — A solitary box of floss given to local man Ed Walters nearly 20 years ago is also…

Nationwide Dumpster Fire Causing Widespread Crust Punk Starvation

Kris • August 25, 2017

WASHINGTON — Scientists have confirmed that the current nationwide dumpster fire is adversely affecting the national crust punk population, according…