BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local extremely confused man Kirk Unger struggled to determine if he was hearing a live recording of The Grateful Dead or just…
Everything is getting more and more expensive these days. Retailers like Target and Walmart recently admitted they are price gouging all of us. As a…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Collin Pike very briefly filled the gaping hole of emptiness in his life by impulsively buying a band shirt he…
FRANKLIN, Tenn. – Local Guitar Center customer Jess Haylin was unaware that a routine trip to buy equipment would lead to her becoming the muse…
BRICK TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Local punk Andy Chambers was seen shaking his head in frustration after a Costco employee marked his receipt without so much…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Sales reports from a local Home Depot confirmed the retail giant is yet to sell a single 12’ nativity set this Christmas…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local white man Jacob Foley spent over twenty minutes deciding which hot sauce purchase would best reflect the fact that he opposes…
APPLETON, Wisc. — Local seasonal retail giant Ghouls Depot is reportedly already playing Christmas music over their sound system despite Halloween not yet technically over,…
MODESTO, Calif. — Local bachelor Lou Charksville admitted that he can’t be himself around his new exceptionally lifelike sex doll which is far too out…
MILWAUKEE — Employees at the Stacked Rack record store joyously celebrated their millionth customer to come in, look around for a bit, and then leave…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local guitarist Sebastian Melendez purchases the most inexpensive PA at his regular music equipment store following a detailed, four-hour description of every…
OMAHA, Neb. — A longtime Walmart employee revealed that he is giving himself at least three or four more shifts until he finally snaps and…
FOREST PARK, Ill. — Local woman in her mid-30s Laura McMann was carded again late yesterday evening when attempting to buy alcohol after her hormonal…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local Pantera fan Blane Butts referred to another customer at Ingles Supermarket as an “intellectual” yesterday in an apparent attempt to insult…
LEWISBURG, W.V. — A $35 gift card for the Kroger grocery store chain, courtesy of local mamaw Juanita Crabb, is expected to supersede all other…