MONTREAL — Representatives from Brazzers have confirmed that their highly anticipated nine-part pornographic Star Wars parody series will modify the canon so as to make…
LOTHAL — Just as he and his friends were almost certainly doomed while trying to escape a secret base of the Empire’s they had infiltrated,…
Fifty years is a long time. Almost as long as my nipples after half a century of breastfeeding. Seriously, my poor areolas are as tattered…
NEVARRO — Far far away planet Nevarro has added a second town after realizing they have the room to spare, according to those familiar with…
LOS ANGELES — With murder mystery Knives Out, Rian Johnson appears to have finally rebounded from making the highest grossing movie of 2017, Star Wars:…
By now you’ve all seen that viral story about the dying Star Wars fan who was granted a private screening of “Rise of Skywalker,” and…
We have awful news for fans of Star Wars and cute puppets everywhere; The Mandalorian creator Jon Favreau just revealed that Baby Yoda’s actual canonical…
Ever since George Lucas’s sci-fi epic The Phantom Menace premiered in 1999, Star Wars fans have been obsessed with one character: Darth Maul. Speaking only…
MATMATA, Tunisia — Close sources from within The Mandalorian production team solemnly reported today that breakout star Baby Yoda died while filming on location in…
SAN FRANCISCO — Amanda Lucas, daughter of Star Wars creator George Lucas, was reportedly enraged after discovering that her father had made unsolicited changes to…
NEW YORK — In an unfortunate mishandling of the beloved franchise, fans across the internet expressed their disappointment earlier today that Disney’s new Disney+ streaming…
OMAHA, Neb. — Following the release of new footage from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker at the D23 Expo, longtime gatekeeper Doug Michalski, 54,…
MANAHAWKIN, N.J. — Local adult Sam McGrath spent two seconds shooting a brief, wistful glance down the LEGO aisle of a Stafford Target store before…
SAN DIEGO — A devoted Mark Hamill impersonator has reportedly spent the entirety of this weekend’s San Diego Comic Con using Twitter, refusing to break…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Alongside its life-size Millennium Falcon and replica lightsabers for purchase, Disney revealed that its new Star Wars-themed section of Disneyworld will also…