PORTLAND, Ore. — A group of local potheads went door to door singing stoner metal carols to celebrate 4/20, confirmed sources peering outside their blinds.…
SEQUIM, Wash. — Local audiophile and longtime smoker Dale McGovern preferred the crackling sound and imperfections of cigarettes to the glossy frequency of a vape,…
You don’t need nicotine patches, Allen Carr audiobooks, or pricy hypnosis sessions to quit smoking. Contrary to the advice of addiction specialists, you can usually…
It used to be effortless making friends outside the venue when you were a smoker. Usually you’d just ask if anyone had a light and…
NASHVILLE — Musician John Oates revealed the highly publicized restraining taken out against him by his former bandmate Daryl Hall was an elaborate marketing stunt…
Well we finally did it, we quit smoking. Thanks to willpower, an Elf bar, a nicotine patch, and nicotine gum for emergencies we are proudly…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — Local man Will Murphy was reportedly kicked out of Joyce Manor’s hometown show when he refused to smoke a cigarette with…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local deadhead Patrick Thames expressed excitement over Martin Scorsese’s upcoming biopic of the Grateful Dead which is expected to be mostly improvised,…
MIAMI — A small group of 19th Century time travelers is reportedly very disappointed with the lack of readily available cocaine in modern times, according…
DULUTH, Minn. — Professional sound technician Greg Thornton released an exasperated and rambling statement confirming that he also doesn’t understand why his presence would be…
Punk Makes Uneasy Truce With Security Guy as Only Two People Left In Office Building Who Still Smoke
Punk Makes Uneasy Truce With Security Guy as Only Two People Left In Office Building Who Still Smoke
SPOKANE, Wash. — Office punk Kory Strawser recently formed a tepid peace with the security guard at her day job when both came to the…
SALEM, Mass. — Local flea market patron Harold Barnes met a genie who asked if it could bum three wishes off him after he rubbed…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A recent study out of the Portland Cannabis Institute shows American states that legalize recreational marijuana use see a 45% increase in…
Dude, we got this new strain of weed from Maryland called “Bong Hit Transplant,” and it will melt your face. Anyway, me and my friends…
TURNERSVILLE, N.J. — Teenage cannabis user Jared Luzinski was astonished to discover yesterday that ancient human beings once used fire to smoke, baffled sources confirmed.…