NASHVILLE — Musician John Oates revealed the highly publicized restraining taken out against him by his former bandmate Daryl Hall was an elaborate marketing stunt for manufacturers of a smokeless fire pit in order to bring friends closer together, confused sources confirmed.
“Oh man, that was some pretty crazy stuff they had Daryl say about me, but we were just so excited to partner with Fairway Outdoor on this new venture,” said Oates from backstage at the Tennessee Tractor Fair. “My solo career took a bit of a hit after that but it’ll be worth it once we get that fire pit money. And yeah the restraining order is very real, so technically I can’t go near Daryl until this is lifted or else I could spend 30 days in prison. We fooled you though, and this was all very fair and I’m happy we did it.”
Sales of the Fairway “I Can’t Go For That Smoke” smoke-free fire pit are already booming, with two units sold since its release Wednesday morning, Hall is hoping the collaboration will also kickstart the duo’s music career.
“People love a good song around the fire,” said Hall. “We’re pretty sure if we just hang around patio parties with our guitars someone will ask us to play. And without any smoke in the air to mess up our voices, they might not ask us to stop this time. I just hope John knows there were no hard feelings, all those things I said about him were for the love of outdoor appliances.”
The smokeless fire pit industry is well-known for having the most cutthroat, competitive culture in the business world.
“We just knew we had to outdo our competitors after we heard they were partnering with Snoop Dogg. So I thought to myself ‘Who are the biggest stars in the world?’ I looked at my record collections and the answer was clear, Hall and Oates,” said Brian Solomon, head of marketing at Fairway. “Sure getting a well-known stoner to ‘give up smoke’ for a few days was a clever idea to get attention, but we here at Fairway Outdoor know that if you want to really sell smokeless fire pits, you have to give the people raw drama. We had sources telling us Solo had a collab with Snoop in the works for quite some time, so to lay the groundwork for our campaign we instructed Daryl to start badmouthing John as early as 2022 when he denied that Oates was ever his true creative partner.”
Update: A shipment of the I Can’t Go For That Smoke smokeless fire pit was recently seen being unloaded at Nashville Liquidation Warehouse.