ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local metalhead Devon Kingsley is reportedly still feeling a slight sense of euphoria after receiving $6.66 back from a purchase he made…
Well, this is not promising. The group sex hasn’t even started yet and already half the people in this candlelit chateau are already harmoniously chanting…
Satanic panics are all the rage right now. Thanks to the concerned Facebook posts of Christian mothers, devilish imagery receives frequent engagement online and at…
America is going to hell in a hand-basket, and not in a good way. These kids today don’t care about anything except Tiktok, Fortnite, and…
CLARKSDALE, Miss. — Local metalhead Perry Tate came across Satan himself at the crossroads and instantly sold his soul to the Prince of Darkness without…
DALLAS — Despondent black metal bedroom musician Dale “Vaxxix” Houlihan recently came to the sudden realization that the spiritual void in his life is best…
DALLAS — Acclaimed country-pop band The Chicks shocked fans with the release of their new single, a eight-minute-long, thrash influenced song in which they encourage…
HELL — Ruler of the underworld and Dark Lord Satan admitted that even after all these years, he is still flattered whenever he hears a…
Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
I tell ya, Satan, these days it feels like there’s never enough time. I work long hours, I try to stay fit, and I have…
Dear black metal fans, this may come as a shock to many of you but I am not a Satanist. Despite my appearance and everything…
I was in need of some faith, but I’m also not some dork who pretends their Lord is made of crackers. My friend Karlo was…
Jean-Paul Sartre once wrote “Hell is other people.” Well, it turns out that “other person” is former White Stripes frontman Jack White specifically. We sat…
HELL — Local metalhead Duane Hovey came to a shocking discovery after a tragic gravity bong explosion that the dark lord himself prefers the sounds…
The 1980’s — the decade that gave us parachute pants, Reaganonomics and, of course, rampant Satanic ritual magic disguised as tabletop role-playing games. A simpler…