Well, this is not promising. The group sex hasn’t even started yet and already half the people in this candlelit chateau are already harmoniously chanting something that sounds like a hundred haunted tubas – which is not the noise anyone least wants to hear while they have their genitals out. Yep, I think I’ve made a huge mistake.
Also, that guy with the mardi gras mask in the corner is clearly filming this with his iPhone. Is no one here concerned about that?
I don’t know that this is the best way to start any sexual encounter, let alone one with multiple partners in a house of cold, cavernous marble halls and incredibly stainable upholstery. Is the chant supposed to be a warning? Or an invocation to the satanic deity of Scotch Guard for protection? I’m so confused.
Seriously, that guy’s not even trying to hide that he’s filming this. The flashlight is on and everything!
When I heard about this orgy I initially figured “Hey, why not? I’m free Wednesday afternoon.” But now that I’m here, taking a look at the fellow participants currently throat-singing a note tuned to a dull erection, I can tell that those are senators’ bodies under those velvet robes. I am really not looking forward to seeing who I get paired off with.
I really assumed you all would give more of shit about allowing photography in here. What kind of clandestine fuckfest is this anyway?
Alright, well, since no one else seems all that bothered by anything that’s happening I guess I’ll just let it go. Y’all can make love with whoever you want and repetitively enunciate whatever sickening noises you can come up. Me though? I’m getting the eyes-wide-fuck out of here before anyone asks me for a password or to do a complex secret handshake with my penis.
And tell that guy with the iPhone to AirDrop me that video. I have a feeling I’m gonna be doing a lot of blackmailing after this.