WASHINGTON — A newly leaked Project 2025 memo revealed a recent revision that would restrict nearly all forms of birth control, with the only approved…
HADDONFIELD, Ill. — The National Rifle Association rushed to Michael Myers’ defense today after the famed “Halloween” slasher started killing his victims with an AR-15…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former president Donald Trump teased his top picks for vice president during a recent Mar-a-Lago fundraising event, according to gaudily-dressed sycophants…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders claimed another victory after signing a bill allowing parents to leave their children locked in vehicles on…
WASHINGTON — Former President Donald Trump announced that he is now just one indictment away from receiving a free, six-inch hoagie from the federal courthouse…
With the news that Heyer Elementary School in Waukesha, Wisconsin has removed “Rainbowland” by Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus from their annual Spring Concert, concerned…
Even though we’re a few years out from the 2024 election, that doesn’t mean we can’t breathlessly speculate on who the GOP will run. Considering…
TAMPA, Fla. — Registered sex offender Owen Blevins repeated a familiar process of going door to door in his local suburb, but this time it…
I know how this scheme works, you liberal cucks. First you wanna take away my beloved machine guns, which I have nicknamed “Better Penis” and…
SAN ANTONIO — Local punk Issah Rooney is taking advantage of Governor Abbott’s cruel and inhumane policy of busing migrants to northern US cities by…
BEATRICE, Neb. — Staunch conservative Todd Anderson vowed to limit his annual Disney World trips to slightly more than a baker’s dozen because he is…
WASHINGTON — Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell reportedly spent the week in a luxurious DC hotel while the coffin he sleeps in was re-lined, creeped-out…
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Penn. — Local leftist, and amateur craftsman, Flint Cropwell admits to harboring a burning hatred for people who espouse conservative ideals, unless they make…
It’s the same routine every morning. I wake up, do some light stretches, and check to see that the people I hung up on the…
WASHINGTON — Congress signed a last-minute funding measure to narrowly avoid a government shutdown today after a crowd gathered on Capitol Hill began chanting “one…