NEW YORK — Local musician Kelly Evans fell victim to the age-old compliment decoy trap when a man quickly pivoted to unsolicited advice after complimenting…
VENTURA, Calif. — Social Distortion fans were treated to an extra special encore from frontman Mike Ness who used the extra 15 minutes of stage…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Local punk house cat The Little Guy is reportedly furious at the return of house shows to the area and the loud,…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Peter Thurman is pretty certain nobody can tell he frequently uses his COVID mask as a cloth napkin for yet-to-be…
DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s only 5’2”, sources who have…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter the venue, according to sources…
DAYTON, Ohio — Members of local punk band False Dmitri were shocked to learn that their longtime merch guy had a first, middle, and last…
CHICAGO — Local punk Jacob Brown found his net worth has skyrocketed now that drink tickets are redeemable again at reopened venues across the city,…
COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out of retirement and help as…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with close friend Collin Montrose due…
UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while attending an avant-garde noise show…
ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk venue The Tribune late last…
Mmmm, where do you think you’re going? I see you pollinating my sweet golden honey with your eyeballs. Sure, you could buy a Porcelain Innards…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local psychedelic doo-wop band Francis and the Francy Boys are preparing to play the “only a few tix left” gambit in response…
Okay, I’m cool. Sure I’ve had 11 PBRs on an empty stomach, but there is no way I’m gonna be in the bathroom when Shit…