LOS ANGELES — Prolific metal guitarist Buckethead finally revealed the origin of his nickname today at a press conference, settling a long-standing debate once and…
LOS ANGELES – A federal judge ordered earlier this evening that musician Lana Del Rey “pay what she wish” to settle a recent lawsuit allegedly…
NEW YORK — 26-year-old Angela Kitts announced today that she is now “totally against one-night stands,” instead preferring the stability of meaningless, long-term relationships, sources…
MADISON, Wisc. — Local polyamorous, gender-fluid teen Brendan McDaniels is frantically searching for the most respectful way to lose their virginity this year, sources close…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — 25-year-old Kyle Booth suspects that his new punk friends only like him for his basement, now that he’s befriended a local hardcore…
AUSTIN, Texas — Researchers at the University of Texas – Austin have completed a study that made some interesting discoveries about itself, according to a…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Friends of local man Jeremy Torres are unsure if his new girlfriend Laura Kelly is incredibly laid back or in desperate need…
KATONAH, N.Y. — After an incredible, fantastical journey searching for the correct venue of a secret show, local man Randy Brower found it was actually…
NEW ORLEANS — Jerry Nichols, the enthusiastic and supportive father of drummer Chris Nichols, is incessantly emailing his son band name suggestions as they come…
SEATTLE — Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos announced his plans today to “personally beat the shit out of small business owners across the country”…
An open letter to my son: Dear Leslie (although I guess you are going by ‘Slime’ now), I wanted to take this opportunity to let…
DENVER — Local all-around garbage human Russ Mitchell was totally grossed out by a female musician’s armpit hair during a show on Tuesday night, according…
LIMA, Peru — A team of archaeologists in the jungles of Peru made a groundbreaking discovery yesterday, unearthing the long-lost “Mambos No. 1-4” prequel tapes…
HOLLAND, Mich. — Your 14-year-old cousin Blake Liston admitted to you yesterday that, as of two weeks ago, he smokes pot and it is “totally…














