Time to update the ol’ resume! An otherwise enjoyable work lunch has been brought to a halt after a waiter making minimum wage plus tips repeated your order back with what is obvious to everyone is the correct pronunciation of the dish.
Yikes!
Jamie from marketing who got caught getting stoned last Friday afternoon was the office pariah walking into this two-dollar sign price-ranged Italian restaurant, and you found a way to sink below him. If you thought the mental scars from getting too drunk in front of the co-worker you have a crush on were bad, you’ll be having night terrors about this for the rest of your life!
The office intern ordered the same thing right after you and even though he would have made the same mistake, he’s now your de facto superior. Paige from accounting thought you were a decent guy, but the second she heard you pronounce Creste Al Forno as “Cre-Sa-te-Ale-for-ri-no,” she wanted to hit you with just enough force to dislocate your jaw in front of your boss.
Speaking of your boss, not only did he start texting HR to immediately begin processing your termination, but also reached out to your parents through your listed emergency contact to let them know what a dipshit they raised. Instead of coming to your defense, they’re now arguing with each other over which one is to blame for their kid turning out to be such a fucking dumbass. Get ready to have two Christmases because you flunked Italian.
“This is a new low for anyone in the office, and I once discreetly had diarrhea during a client presentation” the only co-worker you are hotter than was overheard saying after you went to the bathroom to hyperventilate. “I feel bad, that could have easily been me. Last week when we went to that Mexican place, I didn’t realize Ceviche wasn’t pronounced “see Vicky.” The only reason I got away with it was because they make you order your under-portioned $15 lunch on iPads there.”
The staff is bringing out a cake with sparkler candles while clapping along to Happy Birthday, and yet everyone at the restaurant continues to look at you. You should just walk out the door at this point while feigning an illness no one believes before the staff physically throws you out you fucking cultureless Neanderthal.