Dom Turek
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Despite what your friends, family members, and recently assigned parole officer might say, circumstances that seem tragic right now will…
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Tim Sheard
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It’s a normal problem: your friend brought you to this exclusive sex party, but you want to listen to Sufjan…
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Chris Bowen
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As you probably know, FUCKIN’ SLAYYYYERRRR! But unfortunately, there are some people out there who are unaware. Yes, I know,…
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Jessica Lillian
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Hey, uh, bit of a situation here. I’m a few measures into my song and just realized I made a…
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Adam Frost-Venrick
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SAN FRANCISCO — Members of renowned San Francisco Anarcho-Punk band Reagan Splinter announced that in the past few years, they’ve…
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Doug Kolic
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AUBURN, N.Y. – Local dad and notorious shit disturber Walter Morris patiently waited for a lull during his family’s lovely…
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Dan Kozuh
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MADISON, Wis. — Local screen printer Peter Taylor admitted he could really use the $10 check his grandmother would send…
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Alex Vlahov
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AKRON, Ohio — Progressive-minded, but very smelly, children across the world woke up to gifts from Crust Punk Santa who…
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Michael Luis
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NEW YORK — High-ranking Ticketmaster executive Chuck Dickenson reportedly charged significant fees to three ghosts who were visiting to teach…
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Corey Montgomery
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It's Christmas again, and your elderly family members still don’t understand how basic technology works. While you’re excited for free…
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