College kids these days can’t take a joke! Joe Rogan says so in every episode. With my eldest boy headin’ off to college, I needed…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Punk legend and resurrected Brood X cicada Titus Umbilicus emerged from the earth this week extremely late and hungover despite the fact…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Daniel Powers is searching for an acceptable way to find out if his niece’s upcoming birthday party will be BYOB or…
SAN FRANCISCO — Presidio Heights residents Bella and Hilton Dell are close to surpassing the 90-minute mark talking about the air fryer and bidet they…
LOS ANGELES — Local couple Debbie Yolander and Brian Guyson sustained mild concussions yesterday after guests at their Weezer-themed gender reveal party hurled copies of…
NASHVILLE — Local man and cowboy boots enthusiast Kyle Wilkinson had a brief, steamy encounter with an acoustic dreadnought guitar at a “socially-distanced house party”…
Holy shit! Can anyone help me?! If so, GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! I listened to Phantogram for the first time, and now I’m…
We have had fun tonight with our festivities and frivolities and, while your proposition to keep this night going is tempting, I believe now is…
Let’s face it, regular spreader events do not make front page news anymore. Those dum-dum journalists are just not interested in reporting “The Queen’s Gambit”…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local basement party host and neurotic mess Eloise Krantz destroyed everything in her path Saturday night while trying to fix her broken…
SAN DIEGO — Local Mom Linda Hudson turned heads in her neighborhood today by giving out full-sized Xanax bars to visiting trick-or-treaters, leaving many parents…
It’s 1 a.m., the party is winding down, most of your real friends have left, and there are just a few stragglers hanging around your…
EAST NORTHPORT, N.Y. — Local teen Roderick Evans attempted last night to do the trick where you stab a knife between your outstretched fingers, disappointing…
BOSTON — Offending his viewers by asserting that all of his characters’ hit points matter equally, JRPG enthusiast and known racist William Jepsen came under…
So I keep hearing from the left that, apparently, white males control every aspect of culture, economy, and politics. I would like to offer my…