BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local protester John Reid reportedly missed a number of anti-police protests over the last few weeks, thanks to spending too much time…
LOS ANGELES — Following days of demonstration in the streets, Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti instituted a curfew for 30 minutes ago, effective immediately, multiple…
Oh my gosh! There’s nothing like an adorably incompetent government to make us forget our woes, even momentarily! After over a month of quarantine, the…
EL PASO, Texas — Convicted pedophile Marcus Fleming killed two birds with one stone earlier today when he canvassed for Michael Bloomberg during court-mandated neighborhood…
DENVER — Local pornography enthusiast Brett Wallace was caught off guard moments ago by an advertisement for Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg while watching a…
Oh shit! This brave 30-year-old up-and-coming stand up comedian, amateur photographer, local guitarist, and aspiring actor/model Kenny Key is totally gonna try to move down…
NEW YORK — Local New York resident Laura Rathi argued relentlessly yesterday about the geography of the state of New York, claiming the entire state…
NEW YORK — The Lower East Side crust punk scene is gripped by debate over the credibility veteran scene icon Bradley “Lice” Skeever, who is…
NORTH MANCHESTER, Ind. — Middle-aged punk John Miaza recalled today exactly which high school class he was skipping when the first plane crashed into the…
NEW YORK — Veteran street musician Doug “The Jackrabbit” Landers was once again criticized today for his awful sound quality, raising the prospect of possibly…
WATKINS GLEN, N.Y. — Organizers behind Woodstock 50 abruptly canceled the festival after discovering the desired location was already booked for a little league baseball…
NEW YORK — The cast of AMC’s hit series The Walking Dead narrowly escaped a throng of ravenous fans at this year’s New York Comic…
CHESTERFIELD, Va — Local actor and improvisor James Elijah announced on Tuesday that he will delay a move to follow his dreams in Los Angeles…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Prolific punk rock drummer Mikey Erg, of The Ergs!, Dirt Bike Annie, The Unlovables, The Measure, Star Fucking Hipsters, The Slow…
I finally moved to Long Island yesterday! I’ve wanted to move here for a long time — I love the area, my girlfriend lives here,…