WAUSAU, Wis. — The products for sale at local thrash metal band Hellhund’s merch table reportedly looked more like a garage sale, confirmed sources currently…
BALTIMORE — British death metal titans Carcass are reportedly accepting cash, card, and medical specimens in exchange for merch at their live shows, mildly nauseated…
NEW YORK – A tell-all HBO documentary is sending shockwaves through America after revealing the iconic grunge band Nirvana was an industry plant created in1987…
PITTSBURGH – Local concertgoer Roger Macmillan ruined his brand-new $60 tour t-shirt with a perplexingly expensive Bud Light at record speed, witnesses report. “Perfect, just…
HOUSTON — Merch guy for the heavy metal band Beast of Damocles Eric Jennie provides an extra service for any customers who want the sleeves…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Collin Pike very briefly filled the gaping hole of emptiness in his life by impulsively buying a band shirt he…
BUFFALO, N.Y — Local indie rock band CupNChar were oblivious to the fact that the overwhelming turnout for their gig this weekend was actually due…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Howard Ramirez, the longtime merch guy for the metal band Hellspawn, was folded and crammed into a box by members of the…
INDIANAPOLIS – An $1,800 investment in assorted band merchandise is forcing cash-strapped members of hardcore band Dead Popes Society to play shows until they turn…
Mmmm, where do you think you’re going? I see you pollinating my sweet golden honey with your eyeballs. Sure, you could buy a Porcelain Innards…
SECAUCUS, N.J. — The newly created Merch Guy Hall of Fame announced its inaugural class of inductees consisting entirely of pretty average looking dudes named…
INDIANAPOLIS — Discerning merch buyers and dedicated fans of band doing pretty well for themselves, Stay Swell, were pleased to discover that affordably priced bootleg…
AMITYVILLE, N.Y. — Local music fan Kyle Hartley was ridiculed at an outdoor Words Are Wind show yesterday for wearing the band’s COVID-19 mask he…
KENT, Conn. — Local shoplifter and psychological mastermind Wendy “Sticky Fingers” Hartley reportedly bought a 35-cent pack of Big Red chewing gum yesterday to distract…
ALTOONA, Pa. — Anthony Spengler, the drummer for the hardcore band Unabashed, cleared off half of the band’s usual merch of T-shirts, buttons, and barely…