Kevin Coutu
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NEW YORK — Local therapist Dr. Lauren Mitchell reassured her patient Monday that it is completely normal for a loser…
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Tyler Roland
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MUNCIE, Ind. — Democratic gubernatorial candidate Wesley Ellison admitted to purposely phoning in his run for governor while writing a…
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WASHINGTON — The servers for a new Nazi dating app called Thousand-Year Romance crashed during a recent convention for officers…
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Tom Peters
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NEW YORK — Local man Roland Peachneck was reportedly shocked and disappointed that his “loser” roommates had nothing better to…
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Nathan Kamal
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Well, it happened again! You're a dog and your owners have decided to throw a goddamn house party, without consulting…
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Krissy Howard
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VATICAN CITY — Local personal pizza and source of calories for millions, Mama Celeste, was canonized into sainthood during a…
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Krissy Howard
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AMES, Iowa — Somewhat recently vaccinated woman Teresa Faison entered her third week of using the potential side effects of…
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Heather Cook
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NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local failure Max Kugler was reportedly sighted practicing his ollies at the Haledon Skate Park on…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Local punk and 31-year-old adult man Kenny Whalen remains blissfully unaware that he is the Whalen family’s…
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Caitlin Chung
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NEW YORK — Fortune magazine released the first-ever Misfortune 500 list last week, citing a need to highlight the “fucking…
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