I Lived Fast, but Didn’t Die Young. Now What?!
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I had a plan! My star was going to shine so brightly that it burned out before my time! I…
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Tag: live fast
5 stories found
Punk Historian Reveals GG Allin’s Full Name Was Gilmore Girls Allin
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LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually…
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Punk Gives Dog with Bandana Power of Attorney
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SEATTLE — Local punk Jonathan “Johnny Balls” Denick has given full legal power of attorney to a dog with a…
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Punk Starting to Regret Using One of Three Wishes to Bring GG Allin Back to Life
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ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Adam Schultz is beginning to regret using one of his three wishes to bring infamous…
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GG Allin-Inspired Frontman Has Nightmare About Being Clothed On Stage
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SEATTLE — Local punk singer Dr. Barf, known for wildly grotesque stage shows featuring nudity, violence, and defecation as inspired…
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