john cena Archives - The Hard Times

Move Over John Cena: Here’s the Undertaker Playing a Haunting Rendition Of “Baby Got Back” on the Theremin

Move Over John Cena: Here’s the Undertaker Playing a Haunting Rendition Of “Baby Got Back” on the Theremin

By Nick Ortolani

Some athletes can do it all, am I right? Terry Crews is a comedic powerhouse on Brooklyn 99, Vinnie Jones transitioned seamlessly to movies, and…

Critical Oversight: John Cena Let This One Lucky Make-A-Wish Kid Pin Him for the WWE Title, but Now He’ll Have to Defend It This Sunday vs Kane

Critical Oversight: John Cena Let This One Lucky Make-A-Wish Kid Pin Him for the WWE Title, but Now He’ll Have to Defend It This Sunday vs Kane

By The Hard Times Staff

Well this isn’t good. WWE Champion John Cena has a heart of gold, but it might just cost one sickly child his life. Cena —…

Casual Fan Trapped in Conversation With Guy Who Reviews CZW Shows on Youtube

Casual Fan Trapped in Conversation With Guy Who Reviews CZW Shows on Youtube

By Bryant Smith

Casual wrestling fan Brian Rogers was reportedly trapped in a conversation with a guy who reviews CZW shows on Youtube at a friend’s party this weekend.…

WWE Producing John Cena Clones to Fulfill Appearance Schedule

WWE Producing John Cena Clones to Fulfill Appearance Schedule

By Bryant Smith

WWE has authorized the production of John Cena clones to fulfill all of Cena’s obligations, according to top scientists at Titan Towers. Cena has plans…

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Episode 7: Contributor/Musician Jordan Breeding

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with Hard Times contributor and senior writer at Cracked.Com, Jordan […]
Goth’s Not Dead

This week on Fanboys, the guys rush to the defense of a beleaguered Bruce Springsteen, reluctantly crown a second Hall […]
Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa…?

Today’s episode makes a whole bunch of no sense. Mario and Luigi go fishing, even though they have plans to go to […]
The Hard Times Podcast w/ Walter Delgado

Matt and Bill are joined by Rotting Out’s Walter Delgado to talk about prison and weight training. You know, […]
Episode 6: Hawaii Punk with Kevin Tit

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with stand up comedian and musician Kevin Tit. From Hawaii, to Germany, to […]

Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
By Nick Ortolani on June 30, 2019
Like, seriously. I’m asking honestly, do you all hate me? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid but I sometimes feel like you’re all talking behind my back or...
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
By John Danek on June 26, 2019
I can't believe we're finally heading to Ozzfest! We've been talking about this for years and it's finally happening. Where else can you find the taint-shaking talents of Rob Zombie,...
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
By Krissy Howard on June 23, 2019
Hey you. It’s me. I need to ask you something and I hope you’ll be honest with me. I know you’ve been hurt before by people who are quick to...
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
By John Danek on May 21, 2019
Virtuoso. Iconoclast. Visionary. Ska pioneer. These are just some of the terms used to describe legendary jazz/ska trumpeter Miles Davis. He never once confined himself to the boundaries of genre...