Krissy Howard
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JERUSALEM — Local punk and Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is reportedly running “an hour late, 90 minutes tops, bro”…
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CJ Hernandez
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VATICAN CITY — Bible Scholars have determined that Jesus Christ’s hand injuries, previously thought to have been caused by crucifixion,…
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M.J. Amory
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HEAVEN — Succumbing to public outcry after the shocking discovery of an Old Testament written by Himself, God, the Father…
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Ryan Harnedy
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IRVINE, Calif. — Youth pastor Doug McCabe casually mentioned yesterday that he had a friend who was “a real punk…
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Dylan Tarr
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LANSING, Mich. — The frontman of Christian metalcore band Kiss Me Judas predicted last night that one of his bandmates…
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Contributor
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BOSTON — Straight edge scene veteran Jesse Hunter miraculously transformed a simple glass of water into an opportunity for ruthless…
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Kip Doyle
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Kimbo Slice made headlines all across Heaven this weekend by brutally knocking out John the Baptist at Jesus’ Backyard Brawls…
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Gut Check Staff
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God’s only son Jesus Christ was reportedly disturbed by the recent post-fight interview with Kyle “Mad Dog” Helmer, in which…
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Ed Saincome
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Experts agree: If The Hard Times is proficient at one thing it’s Biblical scholarship. But, as you know, there is…
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Mike Civins
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BOSTON - Attendees of a Sunday hardcore matinee were both stunned and blessed to witness the resurrection of revered holy…
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