“The Golden Bachelor” first captured the nation’s heart with a romantic tale of two widowed septuagenarians who were able to find love again later in…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A domesticated pig found his life in jeopardy as he began to suspect his punk owner Kevin Gelinas only adopted him to…
It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let alone minor inconvenience. How nice…
LONG BEACH, Calif.—Aspiring musician Keith Brown’s practice space was transformed from a once-fun jam area to an utterly sexless dungeon, sources sadly confirmed. “Welcome to…
There was no better fighting force than the G.I. Joes back in the 1980s. These real American heroes put their lives on the line to…
LAS VEGAS – Former football star and accused double-murderer OJ Simpson took one last instinctual swipe at a blonde nurse standing nearby just before taking…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Independent record shop Columbia Flophouse somberly announced the business’s going-out-of-business sale nearly two full weeks before the store was scheduled to…
Just about everyone is getting sober these days. Self-destructive musicians, degenerate friends, and even Aunt Linda are laying off the booze as of late. These…
We’re big cinephiles over here at The Hard Times, and no, we don’t just mean we like MCU movies. Our love of film goes all…
LOS ANGELES — Crust punk Tim “Ransom” Rollins has reportedly started acting annoyingly sanctimonious ever since he moved into an abandoned Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, friends…
HOUSTON — Merch guy for the heavy metal band Beast of Damocles Eric Jennie provides an extra service for any customers who want the sleeves…
Hockey, drinking and fighting are as synonymous as weed and the munchies. But don’t take our word for it, just go ask any Canadian why…
2004 was a totally normal time where nothing weird ever happened. Donald Trump wasn’t a threat to democracy, Iraq was liberated thanks to America’s heroic…
So it finally happened… Your wife left you and you’re realizing that if you keep sitting in your house alone listening to depressing music you’re…
BOSTON — The Solar Eclipse, expected to be visible later today, admitted he got super hard just thinking about how many people would be staring…