Steve Packosky
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CANTON, Mass. — Observers of the cover art of Dio’s 1983 debut masterpiece “Holy Diver” collectively agreed that the priest…
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Josh Fernandez
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SEATTLE — Local anarchist Tommy Greggors staunchly declined to answer a survey about his experience at OfficeMax, confirmed sources. “I…
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Steve Packosky
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Employers need to be consistently sure that they’re checking every box to ensure the field’s best professionals are not only…
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Steve Packosky
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SAN FRANCISCO — Legendary thrash metal band Metallica announced that Kirk Hammett is to be the new lead guitarist after…
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Steve Packosky
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WASHINGTON — 19-year-old Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) agent Braden Wakefield found himself running short on reasons for why he…
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Alex Vlahov
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The doctor said this was a first: no one had requested their own colonoscopy footage before. I said this was…
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Jon Wood
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LOS ANGELES — Notorious rapper Kanye West apologized for his past controversial remarks about former President George W. Bush, confirmed…
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Dan Rice
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Yesterday, Tesla CEO and current Trump BFF Elon Musk wowed the Nazi-sympathizing crowd at CPAC by unveiling The Chainsaw of…
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Dan Rice
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local punk Pattie “Two Dollar” O’Malley set up a foundation dedicated to researching and curing “coke…
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Drew Gigis
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The judiciary system of the United States of America was established on September 24th, 1789 to protect the rights of…
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