Listen, it seems like you’re a little upset now that you know I embellished certain aspects of my resume to land this interview, but I…
DAYTON, Ohio — Breeders frontwoman Kim Deal reportedly discovered today that she’d been fired from the Pixies after plugging in an old fax machine in…
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Local dad Sean Nolan is once again using a weird, unexpected, and previously nonexistent slang term for his penis in casual conversation,…
When you’re struggling to succeed in today’s fast-paced B2B sales landscape, it’s easy to second-guess whether you’re cut out for this line of work or…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Steve “Vomit” Parker reportedly began his annual metamorphosis into a Sublime guy after temperatures cracked the upper 50s this week, sources…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump debuted a completely new pronunciation of the holiday “Cinco De Mayo” while addressing local reporters at the White House today,…
Throughout my life, I had always felt completely secure in my masculinity. Then, the unthinkable happened — an alpha male lifestyle influencer on TikTok challenged…
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. — Local man Travis Anders recently listened to all 15 Genesis albums while waiting for a chance to back out of…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local 13-year-old Elliot Johnson was reportedly crossing his fingers today hoping that his dad would never come back after heading out for…
Is there a bigger time suck in this world than trying to come up with a new band name? Every time a new band starts,…
NEW YORK — Local man Peter Spearman was shocked when he discovered the frontman of his all-time favorite band Chaos Dissidents was doing low level…
BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg sparked controversy after claiming that Elon Musk’s botched penis implant “wouldn’t have gone down like that” if he was the attending…
A relationship has been confirmed as “officially over” when a woman robbed her former lover at gunpoint. This is a repeat offender who has pillaged…
WASHINGTON — Federal Communications Commission (FCC) employee Joshua Boyd found himself in way over his fucking head after being tasked with censoring a single by…
DENVER — A recent report from social psychologists at the University of Denver revealed that members of the local ska band Bug Wife are regrettably…