Another week, another abbreviated introductory paragraph. You know what you’re here for, get on down and listen to our staff picks. Full of Hell “Transmuting…
So your favorite company did something ethically wrong and you want to start a boycott. Congratulations! A lot of people are under the impression that…
Hey there! I see that you’re about to release a new track, so I thought I’d offer some words of wisdom. Your last song did…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Self-proclaimed alpha male, Jared Andrews, suffered a nervous breakdown last week when attempting to eat a banana without looking “gay,” authorities…
As a musician, earning enough to buy a house is quite the feat and I’m damn proud of that. Now I can say that I’m…
PITTSBURGH – Local concertgoer Roger Macmillan ruined his brand-new $60 tour t-shirt with a perplexingly expensive Bud Light at record speed, witnesses report. “Perfect, just…
Great directors are known for pushing boundaries in the film-making process. These often obsessive visionaries will go to unprecedented lengths to get the shots they…
NEW YORK — Former bully-turned-bouncer Terry Gallagher found himself fighting the urge to administer atomic wedgies to everyone at a recent They Might be Giants…
Kids these days, what’s up with them? Seriously, we have no idea what the hell is going on with Gen Alpha and they are terrifying,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Owner of local shop Tunehoundz Records Steven Southwell recently decided to use old Record Store Day vinyl releases to replace the dilapidated…
When driving across America, you begin to notice how many big-box brands there are scattered across this nation. But what’s under-discussed are how fuckable their…
LOS ANGELES — Local police officer Mark Woodside warmed up for a long day of work beating college kids peacefully protesting genocide by knocking around…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local weirdo Arnold Hauser posted on the popular community app, Nextdoor, that everyone in his neighborhood is safe around him because he…
Samantha and I got married at my father-in-law’s country club. Not our scene, but our friends and families had a great time. Until suddenly, someone…
GREENE, N.Y. — Amateur conservative pundit Gordon Brock found himself in a predicament when none of his friends or family would let him borrow their…