Ben Friedman
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I’ve often been called a late bloomer. While I’ve always resented that label, everyone who called me that had a…
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Trevor Graham
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BELLS BEACH, Victoria — Former President Donald Trump was seen evading authorities by attempting to surf a giant wave off…
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Nietzsche said that if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you, which is why…
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Ben Friedman
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MINNEAPOLIS — Target announced they would be reducing this year’s selection of Pride merchandise to a single t-shirt depicting an…
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Doctors and scientists will tell you that alcohol is severely dehydrating, but doctors also used to prescribe lobotomies to anyone…
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Bobby Korec
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BOSTON — Local deathcore fan Toby Branstein decided to bust out his finest carabiner keychain for the upcoming special Red…
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Chris Bowen
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WATERLOO, N.Y. — Staunch MAGA Republican and binge-drinker Justin Brently decided to show his unwavering support for Donald Trump after…
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Trevor Graham
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BOISE, Idaho. — Followers of the QAnon conspiracy theory are trying to find hidden meaning in the 34 felony convictions…
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CHICAGO — Local metalhead and avid drinker Stephen Mullins realized he needs to donate increasingly larger amounts of blood and…
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Kyle Donley
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My Uncle Ted stood at the lectern, tears in his eyes reciting “Auld Lang Syne”, when off in the distance…
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