ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local metalhead Devon Kingsley is reportedly still feeling a slight sense of euphoria after receiving $6.66 back from a purchase he made…
TRENTON, N.J. — New Jersey hardcore band Bust In canceled their first tour outside of New Jersey after realizing they don’t know how to pump…
CLINTON, Mass. — Self-professed food connoisseur Noah Frawley boasts the unusual ability to determine the provenance of microwaved gas station burritos, according to mildly impressed…
Damn girl, this night has been magical. Looking at you now has me breaking out into a cold sweat. Like a concerning amount of sweat.…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk house The Meat Mansion hired the small market attached to the gas station at the end of the street to…
NEW CASTLE, Del. — An unnamed man was arrested and taken into custody under the suspicion of “potentially having committed any heinous, violent act imaginable”…
SEATTLE — Local man Todd Cohen admitted that he is slowly caving to a misleading ad for the 7/11 hot dog snack known as “The…
UNITED STATES — A gathering of townies from across the country is expected to begin at around 5 p.m. today and end sometime before the…
NEW YORK — The startup company Punk Blue Apron is enjoying a surge in popularity, thanks to their monthly subscription boxes containing a bunch of…
FLATWOODS, Ky. — Local woman and sloppy-wasted friend Kara Stanley offered a play-by-play account moments ago of the “absolute ass-kicking” she would’ve given that dude…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sean Schricker was spotted around lunchtime yesterday carrying a bag of food from upscale gas station and quick-service restaurant Sheetz, even…