Matt Husser
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Ah, the Fourth of July: the day we celebrate George Washington conquering thousands of commies back in biblical times to…
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Jason Clemence
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SARASOTA, Fla. — Local husband and father of three Brett Spalding proudly showed off his expensive new grill to friends…
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Liam Stephenson
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NEW ORLEANS — Local teenager Sam Carter purchased a fully automatic assault rifle after failing to legally obtain fireworks, sources…
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Chris Bratton
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WENONAH, N.J. — Local rockabilly legend Rex Thompkins of the band “Rex and the Groovebacks” is currently stuck behind a…
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Dianne Nora
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CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you'll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you'll…
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Khadija Hassan
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SEATTLE — Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque…
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James Knapp
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SANDUSKY, Ohio — Local punk Curtis “Copkiller” Richards reportedly ceased his habit of constant slander against the United States while…
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Fourth of July may sound like fun to you. You may be looking forward to barbecuing and busting out your…
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Krissy Howard
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PRINEVILLE, Ore. — Aging punk Jeff Nunes, best known in his hometown for shooting a bottle rocket out of his…
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