fourth of july Archives

Matt Husser • July 4, 2025

Ah, the Fourth of July: the day we celebrate George Washington conquering thousands of commies back in biblical times to…

Jason Clemence • July 4, 2025

SARASOTA, Fla. — Local husband and father of three Brett Spalding proudly showed off his expensive new grill to friends…

Liam Stephenson • July 4, 2023

NEW ORLEANS — Local teenager Sam Carter purchased a fully automatic assault rifle after failing to legally obtain fireworks, sources…

Chris Bratton • July 4, 2022

WENONAH, N.J. — Local rockabilly legend Rex Thompkins of the band “Rex and the Groovebacks” is currently stuck behind a…

Dianne Nora • July 4, 2021

CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you'll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you'll…

Khadija Hassan • July 4, 2021

SEATTLE — Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque…

James Knapp • July 4, 2021

SANDUSKY, Ohio — Local punk Curtis “Copkiller” Richards reportedly ceased his habit of constant slander against the United States while…

Mark Hassenfratz • July 4, 2020

Fourth of July may sound like fun to you. You may be looking forward to barbecuing and busting out your…

Krissy Howard • July 4, 2020

PRINEVILLE, Ore. — Aging punk Jeff Nunes, best known in his hometown for shooting a bottle rocket out of his…