Dear America. I know that this country is supposed to be a melting pot where different nationalities and cultures can coexist as one. But sometimes…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local punk Pattie “Two Dollar” O’Malley set up a foundation dedicated to researching and curing “coke dick,” a condition that renders…
Damn girl, this night has been magical. Looking at you now has me breaking out into a cold sweat. Like a concerning amount of sweat.…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new sex doll developed by Cambridge Robotics Lab is the first of its kind to be so lifelike that it will…
I am constantly thinking about what sort of outlandishness the liberals will force upon us next. What else will their Godless minds twist and contort…
NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and smokes the user’s entire cannabis…
WASHINGTON — The United States of America utterly failed in its shame-filled attempts today to obscure its bulging, prominent Presidential election, snickering foreign officials reported.…
OBERLIN, Ohio — Students in Oberlin College’s Feminist Epidemiology class were unable to focus during Professor Eric Shin’s “Commercialization of Ironic Misandry” lecture due to…