Tim Sheard
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Having an erection in public is embarrassing, but it happens to the best of us. I was fully prepared to…
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Chris Bowen
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CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local man Thomas Harper mistakenly ordered a large number of CDs by nu-metal band Powerman 5000 in…
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Ryan Clark
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Dear America. I know that this country is supposed to be a melting pot where different nationalities and cultures can…
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Dan Rice
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local punk Pattie “Two Dollar” O’Malley set up a foundation dedicated to researching and curing “coke…
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Ben Friedman
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Damn girl, this night has been magical. Looking at you now has me breaking out into a cold sweat. Like…
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Tim Sheard
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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new sex doll developed by Cambridge Robotics Lab is the first of its kind to be…
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Michael Gursky
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I am constantly thinking about what sort of outlandishness the liberals will force upon us next. What else will their…
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Dom Turek
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NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…
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John Danek
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WASHINGTON — The United States of America utterly failed in its shame-filled attempts today to obscure its bulging, prominent Presidential…
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John Danek
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OBERLIN, Ohio — Students in Oberlin College’s Feminist Epidemiology class were unable to focus during Professor Eric Shin’s “Commercialization of…
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