Dan Kozuh
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BALTIMORE — Recently deceased punk Cary Lowery’s will primarily consisted of returning the stolen property he took from his closest…
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B.S. Mitchell
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PHILADELPHIA — Former President Trump deviated from his prepared talking points to pay tribute to Darth Vader and the countless…
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Jay Leon Feder
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A month ago today, I was hit by a minivan in a Golden Corral parking lot. A tunnel of white…
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Laura Lewis
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RICHMOND, Va.— Local man Brent Gould shocked and confused all those in attendance at the funeral of his recently deceased…
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LOS ANGELES — Tragedy struck Southern California Wednesday night when a toddler was discovered dead inside a Tesla Cybertruck from…
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Drew Gigis
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TACOMA, Wash. — Mourners attending the funeral for local goth legend Joshua Proach, also known as Alistair Nightfall, weren’t sure…
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Tim Graham
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WASHINGTON — President Biden insists he’s not dropping out of the presidential race even though his head was separated from…
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Cory Cousins
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TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. — Members of the local death metal band Flesh Quilt figured it would be a wasted opportunity…
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Tim Graham
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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Harvard University linguistics professor Anne Pierogi believes she is able to decipher the venerable folk singer’s garbled…
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Kyle Donley
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My Uncle Ted stood at the lectern, tears in his eyes reciting “Auld Lang Syne”, when off in the distance…
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