Jack Bravstein
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TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas — Local college student Jason Manzano expertly danced around the subject of vaccination rollout last week upon…
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BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing…
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Kevin Tit
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BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs…
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Chandler Dean
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EARTH — The entire world was devastated to learn Friday that, because of a general oversight on humanity’s part, the…
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Kevin Flynn
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WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the…
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Krissy Howard
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MIAMI — Local holiday and generally despised time of the year, Valentine’s Day, is determined to absolutely destroy one of…
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Gary Doyle
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CHICAGO — PUSHback frontman Chris Sheppard is now completely unrecognizable to his close friends and peers after not having gone…
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Patrick Crooks
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral program for recently deceased Nathan Rivard was the most fun his friends have had since…
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Liam O'Malley
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ATLANTA — In an attempt to help Americans better understand and adjust to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease…
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Ted Pillow
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever…
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