Brett Olsen
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TUCSON, Ariz. — Professor and vocal critic of capitalism Noam Chomsky stunned his lecture hall after granting an ideological exception…
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Mick Lovell attempted to weave the phrase “late-stage capitalism” into casual conversation, hoping it would…
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Josh Fernandez
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SEATTLE — Local anarchist Tommy Greggors staunchly declined to answer a survey about his experience at OfficeMax, confirmed sources. “I…
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Bobby Korec
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IRVINE, Calif. — Taco Bell’s revamped artificial intelligence drive-thru has reportedly been making the human fingers commonly found in their…
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Chris Bowen
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AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — George Quinn, an account manager at the Babaco insurance company, recently realized the amount of sheer…
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Greg Smith
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Trying to change the world for the better is tough. Systems in place are designed to maintain the unhealthy status…
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As the hole in the crotch grows larger than each leg hole, my wife begs me to buy a new…
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Jessica Lillian
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Newburgh, N.Y. — Kirsten Emery, guitarist in local punk band Feral Insurgence and vocal critic of Valentine’s Day, curiously embraced…
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Wilson Conkwright
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SAN MATEO, Calif. — Multimedia tech CEO, Peter Avakian, held a mandatory all-hands meeting to ensure every employee was present…
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Lauren Sewell
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MILWAUKEE — Local third-grade teacher Grace Redding recently stated she “would not trade her job for the world” despite the…
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