Dan Kozuh
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You know what’s truly pathetic? The crowds of trust-fund influencers desperately trying to get a bartender's attention, only to drop…
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Patrick Crooks
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s…
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Taylor Roebuck
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Have you ever wanted to drink licorice-flavored varnish? Or perhaps floor cleaner garnished with dirt and earthworms? If so, you’re…
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Tiana Miller
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NEW HOPE, Pa. — Local straight man Scott Stevenson was spotted acting weirdly jealous around lesbian woman and acquaintance at…
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Billy Patterson
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PHILADELPHIA – Local friend and owner of a comfortable and reliable five-seat sedan, Victor Schnellenberger, is planning to quit drinking…
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Krissy Howard
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DOVER, Del. — A local townie and currently wasted-off-his-ass scallop is rambling on about the time his rubbery body was…
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